


First Day of My Life

by phichithamsters



Series: phichithamsters's twitter fics [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, From Twitter Thread, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mentions of PTSD and Sexual Assault, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phichithamsters/pseuds/phichithamsters
Summary: A Banana Fish AU where Ash gets on the plane.Uploaded to the archive for Ash's birthday!
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Series: phichithamsters's twitter fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027525
Comments: 1
Kudos: 91





	First Day of My Life

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted as a twitter thread on July 18, 2019, and you can find the original thread [here](https://twitter.com/phichithamsters/status/1151725242403962880). 
> 
> The title was taken from the song "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes, which is such a sweet asheiji song. I hope you enjoy!

Ash makes it to the airport, and he and Eiji fly to Izumo together. Ash falls asleep on Eiji’s shoulder. Eiji has a million questions circling in his mind but he doesn’t wake Ash. Eventually, they’ll talk (about everything) but today is for sleeping.

Ash and Eiji stay with Eiji’s family for a few weeks. They are warm and welcoming and even convert a spare room into a temporary bedroom for Ash. Eiji’s younger sister is just like Ash imagined, and they look through old family photos together.

Ash is overwhelmed by the kindness and doesn’t sleep well. Three days after arriving in Japan, Ash decides to sleep in Eiji’s room. The spare room goes unused after that.

Eventually, Ash buys an apartment in Osaka. He says the countryside feels suffocating and he itches to be in a city. To Eiji’s relief, Ash promises that it’s the last time he’ll use the dirty money he earned in New York.

They move to Osaka together. Eiji gets a job coaching a local track and field team. Some of the pole vaulters know of him and treat him like a celebrity. While Eiji is embarrassed by the attention, he’s happy to be back in the sport.

In his spare time, Eiji enrolls at Osaka University as a part-time student to finish the degree that he’d started almost a year ago, before visiting America.

Ash finds work here and there as a freelance web designer, and he jokes that he’s finally using his coding skills for good instead of evil.

Eiji reminds him that there is technically no good consumption under capitalism, so Ash throws a book at him.

—

They establish a little tradition. Every Saturday they get up early and go to the local open-air markets to buy produce for the week.

It’s always a struggle to wake Ash up since he’s such a heavy sleeper, but Eiji will crawl into bed (it’s been a while since they’ve had separate ones) and wrap his arms around Ash, stroking his hair softly to help him wake up.

Eiji reasons that Ash deserves to be woken up gently. But he’s not opposed to hitting Ash with a pillow— if he’s being especially difficult.

Eiji is teaching Ash to cook, too. He sits Ash down on Friday nights to plan out their meals for the week, trying out new dishes and recipes to discern what types o food Ash prefers.

Surprisingly, Ash begins to tolerate natto. This is probably because Eiji makes it in big batches, subsisting off of it for multiple nights in a row.

This means that Ash is either a) forced to fend for himself or, b) stir his chopsticks around in the slimy mixture and take a bite. Each time, he hates the taste a little less.

Crowds still make Ash feel on edge, so Eiji takes hold of his hand as they walk through the market together. It’s a simple gesture, but the feeling of Eiji’s hang staves off some of the panic is being in public without a weapon.

A decade of living on the street has ingrained behaviors in Ash which are hard to undo, but Eiji is patient, and Eiji meets Ash where he is.

Today, it’s teaching Ash the Japanese words yell at them from the stands, loud and demanding attention. ash learns that /sakana/ is the Japanese word for “fish!” and not the sharp cry of warning. Eiji knows it’s not much, but it’s what he can do at the moment.

Eventually, Ash agrees to see a therapist. It takes him a while to find the right one, but Eiji always accompanies him to appointments and sits in the waiting room while Ash is in session.

Ash wears his glasses a lot more and spends more time reading classic novels. Eiji discovers that his favorite genre is cult fiction.

Eiji also learns the places that he can touch Ash: the curve of his jaw. The top of his knees. The palms of his hands. Ash likes to have his back rubbed, and he likes when Eiji plays with his hair.

He doesn’t like being touched on the back of his neck. His collarbones. His shoulders.

Eiji asks and never assumes. Ash makes fun of him for it, but Eiji knows he’s grateful for someone who asks permission before touching him. Someone who hesitates.

—

The first time they have sex, they keep the lights on.

Ash asks to stop in the middle of it. Eiji immediately pulls away and wraps Ash in the comforter, a burrito of blankets. Eiji runs back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom, bringing Ash steaming mugs of _genmaicha_ and black tea and _amazake_ until Ash works up the courage to ask Eiji to stop leaving his side. 

Eiji sits next to Ash on the bed and buries his face in Ash’s hair, quietly whispering love into his ear and occasionally holding up a mug for Ash to sip slowly.

Ash keeps repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over. Eiji holds Ash’s face in his hands and reminds Ash that he has nothing to apologize for.

“You have no reason to be sorry,” Eiji repeats. “You don’t owe me anything.”

It’s new to Ash: asking for help. Receiving what he needs. Not owing anyone in return. It’s still unsettling to Ash and it shows on his face. 

“Did you want to stop earlier?” Eiji asks, because he notices and he cares.

Ash shakes his head. Eiji is not convinced.

“Ash. Talk to me. I never want to make you do anything you are not comfortable with.”

“No, it’s not that. It was really good, I promise, and then all of a sudden it wasn’t,” Ash whispers.

Eiji nods his head gently and lays his head on Ash’s shoulder, needing no more explanation. 

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“Yeah.”

Ash unwraps himself and lays the comforter back on their bed. Eiji wanted to sleep on a futon but Ash had insisted on buying a western-style bed because he insists he can’t sleep well  
“on the floor.” Eiji curls up next to him, deciding that the mugs and cups crowded on their night table are tomorrow’s problem. He brings a book to bed, one of Ash’s favorites that he brought with him to Japan. Sometimes, Ash and Eiji will read to each other before bed. Ash reads Eiji’s Japanese books for practice, and Eiji will correct him on pronunciation. Eiji will read English books for fun, and because Ash loves the sound of Eiji’s voice.

Ash drifts off to _The Picture of Dorian Grey._ When he inevitably wakes up, drenched in sweat and out of breath, Eiji is there, murmuring “I’m here,” and “it’s okay,” and “you’re safe” until Ash starts to believe him.

—

In their apartment, Eiji sets up a butsudan, a shrine of sorts in memory Shorter and Skip. Eiji explains to Ash that it’s a Japanese tradition. Ash prints out the pictures of his friends he’s collected over the years and props them up inside the butsudan. Eiji fills it with items he saw in his family’s butsudan back home: sticks of incense that smell like pine, warm candles, dishes for fruit, tea, rice. 

Eiji doesn’t remember the rituals that go along with it, so they both say a few words in memory of their friends. Afterwards, they sit quietly on the ground in front of the butsudan and watch the candles burn out. 

Ash gets up suddenly and returns with two cans of beer. He pulls Eiji off of the ground and they walk to a park. Ash cracks open one of the cans, and, to Eiji’s horror, pours the entire thing onto the ground. 

“For Skip and Shorter” Ash says, watching the liquid slosh onto the ground. When Eiji still looks confused, Ash explains.

“This is called ‘pouring one out.’ You do it in honor of your dead friends,” Ash pops the tab of the second can and hands it to Eiji. 

“It’s an American tradition,” Ash says.

Eiji nods, and tips the can.

“For Skip and Shorter.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Ash Lynx!


End file.
